Porn isn't exactly famed for its realism. Women masturbate with legs splayed and backs arched, orgasming after a few minutes of frantic rubbing and moaning. What might seem hot in a male fantasy — which informs much of the porn we watch — isn't always close to what actually gets women off. I must admit, it hadn't occurred to me that the way I masturbate might have been influenced by the porn I was privy to growing up. Given that many British women received little or no information about female self-pleasuring during sex ed lessons, many of us have been left to fill in our knowledge gaps with porn.
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Porn isn't exactly famed for its realism. Women masturbate with legs splayed and backs arched, orgasming after a few minutes of frantic rubbing and moaning.
What might seem hot in a male fantasy — which informs much of the porn we watch — isn't always close to what actually gets women off.
I must admit, it hadn't occurred to me that the way I masturbate might have been influenced by the porn I was privy to growing up. Given that many British women received little or no information about female self-pleasuring during sex ed lessons, many of us have been left to fill in our knowledge gaps with porn.
A global survey of over 10, people by sex toy company Tenga found just 14 percent of British women learned about sexual pleasure during sex ed at school, and 17 percent of women learned about masturbation. Sex educator Ruby Rare says that much of mainstream hardcore porn shows female masturbation in a very performative way and perpetuates a trope of "a woman lying down with her legs as far wide as humanly possible.
Always eager to unlearn habits formed because of the male gaze, I spoke to sex educators and women who masturbate about female self-pleasure positions that aren't shown in mainstream porn. Positions that might not necessarily make our bodies appear lithe and elegant, but will maximise the amount of pleasure during your solo sex sessions. I asked women on Twitter to DM me their favourite masturbation positions — and my inbox was flooded with women telling me how much they love rubbing one out while lying face down.
Fox — who's currently working on Season 2 of Sex Education — tells me that Aimee's face-down masturbation scene proved to be a real hit with viewers. Just as we switch up positions during partnered sex, why not shake things up when you masturbate?
For extra comfort and added friction, you can perch yourself on top of a few pillows. Megwyn White — advisor for adult toy brand Satisfyer — recommends rotating the legs inwards to "help add a deeper stretch for the muscles around the clitoris and rear of the pelvic floor.
Try clenching in the same way while you touch yourself; you should feel a tightening, lifting sensation inside your vagina," she adds. She recommends tightening then releasing the muscles that curl your toes.
You could also try clenching your fists or butt, or stretching your legs so they're taught. Some people really like to feel warm or hot and having your head under the sheets can be nice," says Rare. One thing Rare enjoys is finding a sunlight spot in her bedroom and lying in that patch while she masturbates. A lot of us are guilty of falling into a masturbatory rut when it comes to what we do with our hands and fingers. Sometimes it feels like you're in a frantic rubbing race to get to an orgasm-shaped finish line.
Fox recommends trying a bunch of different things with your fingers — the possibilities really are endless here. Keep your labia majora and mon pubis the outside bit of your vulva in mind too, advises Fox. One woman, who prefers to remain anonymous, told me her favourite position is lying on the sofa, which she describes as "missionary for masturbation. In a somewhat similar position, White suggests lying in a bathtub with either one or both feet propped against a wall.
If you happen to have a detachable shower head, you could incorporate water clitoral stimulation too. Just make sure the water's not too hot.
Sex blogger The Other Livvy is a fan of using furniture to get her solo-sex kicks. Propping one leg against a wall or piece of furniture can help you to move back and forth and create a rhythm. Sure, you've heard of the G-Spot, but what about your U-Spot? As Rare points out, there's really no such things as a "best position" — it's all down to personal preference and what you feel comfortable doing. One thing we could all do with unlearning from porn, however, is the notion that we need to look good while masturbating.
Embrace the "double chins and your body being in weird and wonderful angles" — as Rare puts it — and just focus on getting off. We're using cookies to improve your experience. Culture Like Follow.
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The best female masturbation positions that aren't like the ones you see in porn
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