Are you married to an asshole? But what degree of asshole is he? Can you manage his assholiness or do you need to divorce him? Is he the cause of your depression? You are probably familiar with flying on an airline and emergency procedures.
How dare you! Leslie on October 4, at am. Oh My God, this happened to me to! Draining physically, and mentally. Not our children. I feel so lonely in my relationship. I gave so much of myself, it has hudband years just to find out who I AM. Jessica Daniel on Friday, May 9, at am.
Cunt hairy movie woman. Comments (21)
April 9, at PM. He DOES thankfully usually take the baby from 6am-9am so I can get a little extra rest which I see as part of my overnight sleep, but he thinks is equivalent of Gods gift to the world. And willing to sacrifice. Husband watches wife fuck another man Like Dislike Close. And the root cause of every Bbw black suck thing that happens on earth not counting naturally occurring things like disease and natural disasters can be traced back to one thing: the The vent husband ass of any two people or groups to not be assholes to each other whenever they disagree about something. Not pretty, or sexy, or even ok, just to look and see Im here too. Quality All. Cuckold hubby watches horny wife riding young cock Like Dislike Close. I am currently a shitty husband who will be married to vfnt amazing wife for five years in September. Sweet The vent husband ass is forced to fuck by her horny son. But my dad got divorced after 35 yrs mom met someone else and wonders why wives are always aes.
He grabs a beer and sits down on the couch with the remote.
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Log in Sign up. Home Community November Husband is an ass-vent. My pregnancy was textbook horrible. She was also in a bad place because she lost her baby brother who was only 44 to glioblastoma multiform worst brain tumour with zero hope even if caught within a day of having it. Anyways, my mom left when I was 4 weeks pp and I am now 4 months pp. I don't have many friends, and the ones that I have live far, have their own kids and families to tend to and so on.
I've been having lots of mental breakdowns because I am constantly home with a very fussy baby and I've been trying to increase my milk supply because she has reflux and doesn't tolerate formula well reason for her being fussy , but it's hard doing that alone since I have to pump at least every 3 hours through the night and nurse her in between with tubes, and take time to sleep and eat in between it all.
Every site and every lc and every phn has told me I need some kind of help. Now granted my mom did things that were all sorts of wrong by bringing my brother after we asked her not to, but she is an overall amazing mom and helped out a lot. Ok she was kind of annoying and pushed my husband aside a lot when he wanted to be with the baby and she thought she knew better than us. But now I need someone. I'm mentally, physically and emotionally drained and exhausted.
I need help. I need someone. I need someone other than a baby to talk to or hang out with and get help from. I was ibs at 38 weeks pregnant, and now I am ibs 4 months pp and it's all from eating cookies. I don't have time to even make a sandwich because my kid screams and it's like crazy im dying screams when I put her down.
Who can pump or eat when that's happening especially when dealing with ppd? We can't afford to hire help so I begged to have my mom come. She is so helpful and she's pretty much my best friend. But my husband acts like he hates her now. Says I should suck it up and deal with taking care of a baby and doing things alone.
Ummmm everyone has some kind of help. I'm literally alone day in day out and the only time I'm not alone is when we go to his family's house once a week and that's not even helping me out.
Anyways, we started talking and he was being so mean and said fine have your mother come but I'll be miserable. He is being so horrible.
He basically kicked her out last time too. I wasn't ready for her to leave and he said too bad she has to and she saw what I was going through and didn't want to go either. Anyways we got into a fight and I left the house at pm and it's now am and storming outside and I'm sitting in my car in a lot and he hasn't once called to check in on me. I hate him so much right now. He is such an asshole.
Add a comment. Comments 10 Add a comment. Breath mama. I don't know what your life situation is other than this post. I don't think your husband is trying to be an ass, but judging by what you said about how your mom pushed him away last time when he wanted to be with your baby I can understand why he doesn't want her to be there. Just try to talk to him and tell him that you understand where he is coming from but that you just need the help because you can't mentally do it on your own.
Also, as frustrating and crazy as a screaming baby is it is ok to put them down, close the door, walk away, let them scream while you go make a sandwich to eat. Your health is important. As long as baby has a clean diaper, has been fed and taken care of it's ok to let them cry.
They will be fine. Just be understanding of your feelings and also of your husbands. He doesn't sound like he's being too much of an ass, I think emotions are just high. Well said pp. Sweetie, I am so sorry for what's going on. I don't know what to say but I do believe that pp said it quite well.
If it helps -- the lowest point of my marriage was after the birth of our first child. It was such a life-changer and I think neither of us knew how to cope; were both sleep deprived; had zero help and my mom's cancer came back and she died when my LO was just over a year. It was horrendous. The interesting part is that despite the mean and nasty fights we had and we had some doozies that I thought I would never forgive him for , I don't remember much of it now.
Our kids are our world and those dark days are behind us. I actually think having to do it alone brought us closer together in the long run. You do need help. But maybe In the form of someone to talk to counseling? He can watch baby while you go? Also with your latest blowout with him use it as an opportunity to share the feeling of how hard it is to have a baby for both of you.
And also acknowledge that the visit from your mom was not easy. Tell him you need to shower daily and have one square meal a day at least and since you have no help he needs to help you to achieve that.
Maybe you could negotiate the gym a few times a week? If he can help you to push through and as the baby gets easier Which I swear happens around the 6 month mark , you may not feel the need for your mom as much. Just hang in there. I'm so sorry you are having such a hard time. Do you live in Toronto?
Are you part of the Healthy Babies Healthy Children program? If not, call Public Health and self refer to the program. I totally understand how you feel being stuck in between your husband and your mother. I'm in a similar situation. My partner and my mother do not get along. I'm in Ontario and my family is in BC. My mom came towards the end of my pregnancy to help out and there was so much tension between my mom and partner.
It was horrible. I cried a lot and I never cry. They were even arguing in front of me in the hospital while I was in labour and in so much pain. My mom stayed for a month my mom is my best friend too and I was sad to see her go but she was done being around my partner.
They are both to blame though; both stubborn, want to do things their way, and won't let things go. I told them both that they need to get over themselves and be nice since we are family now and I want them both in my life. I agree with PP's. Having a new baby is a huge change in your relationship.
Both you and your husband are just trying to cope in your own ways. Talk to him. And if the only solution is for your mom to come stay with you, then remind him it's only for a small amount of time If your mom does come, tell her that your husband felt like she took over last time and that he needs time to get to know his baby; hopefully this way she will let him have time without her interfering. I'm sorry you have to go through this.
I hope you went home and you are fine now. I agree, having our first child was the hardest on our marriage, but we got through it and came out stronger. I can also understand your hubby, if your mom in law would push you aside you wouldn't want her there either, no matter how much she helped in the past. Did you try to find other new moms in your area? Maybe going out with the babies, having a coffee with others going through the same things would help you.
At least you could have adult conversations Are you getting professional help for your PPD? Just a thought but could your mom come to help you, but stay somewhere else, maybe at an other relative's place? That way she could help you some, but be out of the way when hubby wants family time.?
Sucks but he has some valid concerns. Just tell him you understand his concerns and then tell him you will set some ground rules with your mom. We did this same thing with my mom before she stayed for 2 weeks. She didn't interfere with taking care of the baby and gave advice only when asked. She is completely different with my brothers kids.
She takes over and tells them what they are doing wrong all the time but not with us.
Shona says:. I wanted to make her happy and win her approval. Husband watches wife fucking in taxi Like Dislike Close. Read the blog again — go on — you know you want to. I was awake.
The vent husband ass. An Open Letter to Shitty Husbands, Vol. 1
When Your Husband's a Jerk – Sara Horn
Are you married to an asshole? But what degree of asshole is he? Can you manage his assholiness or do you need to divorce him? Is he the cause of your depression? You are probably familiar with flying on an airline and emergency procedures. The ones the flight attendants go over just before take-off.
Have you ever thought about the importance of those oxygen masks? They explain that the masks drop down and the oxygen starts to flow.
Have you ever really thought about the importance of putting yours on first? You have to breathe. You have to take care of yourself first in order to care for others. Is that the root of your problem? Is that the cause of your depression? It was for me. I never put myself first and I eventually lost the ability to care for those around me. What is wrong with me?
Am I wired to be a doormat? I met Mr. Wonderful number three. Woo Hoo. He loves me. He showers me with compliments and gifts. He loves spending time with me. How did I not see this pattern? Did I change? How did I go from an interesting independent woman to a depressed doormat? All I know is the new wore off, reality set in, his needs came first and I became depressed. As with many couples, we agreed to put his career first. We played together too.
But little by little he explained away the changes. He needed some guy time. He deserves it. I deserve it too. I tried going out with friends but every time I did he showed up. Sometimes he called with a reason I needed to come home. He was so controlling that I stopped going out. I was even flattered that he was a little jealous. Besides, we needed to save money and I was so busy with the kids and when I had a free minute I wanted to spend it with him.
Eventually, everything was about him. If I did speak up I got accused of being a nag. I wanted to be the cool understanding wife. But deep down I knew he was being an asshole. You do nothing. You learn to accept it and you make excuses. I was so afraid of losing him that I lost myself. You need a haircut. You wear the same clothes that you did years ago. You suffer from anxiety and maybe you self-medicate with alcohol?
Maybe you are depressed because he is an asshole. Maybe you enabled his bad behavior because you hate confrontation. But the boat is sinking and you are the only one on it. Believe me, I know. I was depressed. I gained weight and suffered from insomnia and anxiety. I truly put my health, my happiness and myself last. All the while he slowly made his own private life.
I had panic attacks. It got so bad that whenever he did something that I knew was wrong I would have an attack. He started accusing me of being allergic to him…in a way he was right.
The real kicker is that my husband, who I put first, put me last. But men and woman do not suffer from depression in the same way. Women take the blame and men blame others. Was it his depression that made him an asshole or was he always an asshole? After all, I did for him, he wanted out?
Now on top of my depression was grief. I went through shock, denial, anger, depression again and finally acceptance. I accepted that I had changed. I became a doormat. It hit me like a ton of bricks. It was history repeating itself. For me, this cycle needed to stop and I took charge. I promised my kids and myself that there will not be another man until I am in complete control of my own needs.
I committed to supporting myself. I read, went to church, joined the gym and got a new job. I treated myself to the salon. I bought new age-appropriate professional clothes. I have hobbies. I do charity work. I have friends. I like myself. I no longer have panic attacks. You need to take care of yourself before you can care for others. Put your oxygen mask on first and breathe. She married her sweetheart right after high school. He joined the military and soon after they had a son and a daughter and what should have been the All-American marriage.
Always the entrepreneur Liz employs herself. She has owned and operated several small businesses and has enjoyed a successful career as a Florida Real Estate This story, in parts, is my own.
I was a door mat. My world closed in. After I told him I wanted out, he set out to destroy me and take our children. I gave so much of myself, it has taken years just to find out who I AM. Thank you for this wonderful post. Others need to know how important it is not to allow yourself to be put last.
How are you now?? No on helps.. I do everything.. Make soup, wash him, take him good, fruit.. My kids want this, wshtvyo govthere, I have to finish all the paperwork for the business, make calls, pay the bills, clean, cook, wash put away… I sleep hrs every night… I am soooo tired… I also support my mother..